Reflections on Month One

Today I gave myself the day off. No tracking calories and no working out – just a massage for me today. I didn’t even work in my garden. I didn’t intend to give myself the day off, but when I realized today is the last day of the first month of my journey I decided I needed a day off. Tonight I am even having spaghetti for dinner and maybe a glass or two of wine. I hope this won’t be a mistake come Friday weigh-in day, but I think it is the right thing to do. Maybe next month I will even take the day off of blogging too!! In the future I will give myself one day off a month – the last day of each month.

The figures for the first month of my journey are in. Drum roll………I lost 9 pounds total. I worked out 20 days out of 31. As the first month of my journey comes to an end, I realize that this is a journey in more ways than one. It isn’t just about releasing weight. It is also about finding my authentic self. This month brought about many feelings and lessons for me. I learned that I have to plan my meals and workouts to be successful. I had several melt downs. I cried. I laughed. I walked. I walked. I walked. I sweated, and I mean sweated! I got frustrated. I was excited when I saw a lower number on the scale each week. I saw a shooting star. I learned I have to be honest with myself. I had many conversations with “the little drunk monkey.” I tried new recipes. I learned I had choices and that all my choices lead to consequences whether they be bad or good. I discovered that I am an emotional eater. I think I already knew that!! But, now I really see my patterns. I reserved my fourth week at the Biggest Looser Resort. Woo Hoo!!! (I am trying to talk Steve into going with me for one of the weeks.) I doubted myself. I was proud of myself. I was disappointed in myself. I learned that I have to take this journey day-by-day, meal-by-meal. I was supported by many of my friends and family members. I didn’t get support from one person – but hey I don’t need his support anyway I have enough other supporters.

If you are one of my supporters and you haven’t signed up as a follower, please do. I really want to see many followers of my journey. I’ll be looking for you as one of my followers tomorrow!!!

Gardening and Those Darn Weeds

I didn't do a traditional workout today because I spent 21/2 hours pulling weeds. I have to really give gardeners credit. Boy, am I sore - what a work out!!! There is something so therapeutic about digging in the dirt. It does do a number on your nails though! Now my back yard looks great and I am ready to plant some more flowers and maybe a couple more vegetables. By the way the broccoli, brussel sprouts, lettuce, and spinach that gro-Organic planted in my beds are all really growing great and the seeds are now spouting into very small radishes, onions, peas and purple carrots. I can't wait to see what those look and taste like. Tomorrow I am going to re-plant my front planter. That will be another day of non-traditional exercise. I decided to try to plant some native plants in my planter to see if that will cut down on some watering. Not quite ready to go to all native plants and no grass, but we will see how this works.

One more pound

Okay.....the verdict is...one pound...again.

Crickets, silkworms and grasshoppers

Did you know that in Beijing, China at the The Night Market they sell these and 97 other deep fried and otherwise ‘deliciously’ prepared delicacies? I learned that tonight in my International Business Class - and it got me to thinking, as I watched the reporter feast on a crunchy starfish, silkworm, sea urchin and other carefully prepared local morsels. As I struggle with loosing weight on a daily basis - would I loose weight faster if I lived somewhere that had different types of food, or would I never have gained weight in the first place? Hmmmm.... interesting question you say? Yesterday I also watched Michael Pollen, author of The Omnivores Dilemma, and other books about the food industry, on The Oprah Show talking about all the preservatives and chemicals in our processed food, a subject I have read much about. You would think I’d be a perfect size 8 with 14% body fat by now with all the books on healthy eating I have read! He is also featured on the video Food, Inc., which explores where the food on our table actually comes from. Awful to think about!! I rarely eat beef, never eat pork, lamb or veal already after reading Skinny Bitch (well actually before that, but that book solidified it for me). No, this isn’t a book about snobby, skinny Beverly Hills girls. It is a book about the food industry and eating healthy. But, not eating beef can still lead to eating a host of other unhealthy food items from questionable sources. Oh yes it can!! All that said, now I am asking myself "why in the HELL do I eat the crap that I know is crap?" I know the answer to that question - because it tastes good. Or shall I say my misguided taste buds think it tastes good. Even though I have read many books about all the stuff in our food, and how food is grown, processed, etc., I still eat processed junk – not all the time – but enough of the time. I’m not talking McDonalds either – I haven’t been there in probably 10 years, but I have been to a multitude of other seemingly healthy fast food places – Subway, Rubios, Quiznos, not to mention processed foods from the grocery store. I’m not even sure where I am going with this, except that with all my food knowledge – why do I still eat unhealthy things? I realized today that 99% of loosing weight for me is mental – I can’t say I don’t know what to eat, or what is good or bad for me because I do. I know there are other people out there that really don’t know how many calories in this or that or where foods come from, and how bad certain chemicals in processed for are for a person, but that’s not me. I do know!! Maybe it is the chemicals in the food making me crave the unhealthy and not stop at just one. Some say it is. But whether it is or not I still need to work more on my mental state – my love of self – my belief in myself! Weigh in tomorrow, not today. I jumped the gun yesterday in saying weigh in was today. More tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another progress day

Tomorrow is another progress day. I am a little worried because of my lack of "being honest with myself." But, we will see and we will go from there. Right? This is a journey!

Be Honest with Yourself

Earlier in the month a friend of mine, Alysia, one of my fellow Prosperity Princesses, did a Tarot card reading for me. (See more about Alysia in my links under peaceful-heart.net and 1luckypuppy.net.) She is also Cleo’s hairstylist, so to speak. One of the things the cards revealed when I asked how my weight loss journey would progress was that I should be honest with myself. At the time I though I am honest with myself!! HA! I realize after reviewing my food and exercise journal for the last 26 days that I have not been 100% honest with myself or committed to my weight loss journey. I say I am committed, but my journal shows otherwise. I kept thinking about what she told me that day, and I realize that I need to be honest with myself about exactly what I have been eating and drinking, and how much I have been exercising. Instead of living in a world of make believe that doesn’t yield the results I so desire, my motto from now on is “be honest with yourself.” I think if I can do this I can be even more successful in my journey. Bring it on!!! No more make believe and much better results.

Tomorrow is another day

That is all I can say. I'm in a funk - maybe its hormonal. But, I am glad tomorrow is another day. I will explain later.