Maybe a routine isn't that bad afterall

I have to confess that I haven't really been focusing on my weight releasing journey at all pretty much since the beginning of the year. Yes. I have worked out - but near as much as I had been last year. Yes. Sometimes I think about what I  eat - but for the most part I have been eating whatever I want and not thinking about it. And, I haven't really felt good about what I have been doing. I have been not happy with myself - which I know from the reading I have been doing on manifesting is not the mindset one who is manifesting their dreams has. The good news is - I just realized what the answer is. I set out at the beginning of the year to not try so hard - not to make this journey a difficult one. I want things to flow naturally, happen effortlessly. I was tired of trying - tired of having to eat this or exercise now. But, I was still telling my self  "you should eat this or that, you should go exercise." I had merely switched my self talk from "you must exercise and you have to eat right" to the world of "you should do this or that". Which in thinking about it now may just been even more disabling and more harsh, and ineffective. I lost my way. I lost my focus. I know now that I still need to be focused, but I also need make this a natural, relaxed process, not a grinding intense process. Because when life is intense and full of "have to's" and "must's" -  I think we instinctively rebel and turn away from the very thing we are seeking.  In my case - releasing weight. No one wants to be told what to do - not even from their own self. Does that make sense?  I guess it took me a year to figure this out!  LOL! I have been meditating more since the beginning of the year. I am in the process of making meditation a daily part of my routine - like brushing my teeth or taking a shower. In doing this I also realized that I really don't have a set daily routine.- I don't get up at the same time, I don't exercise at the same time, I don't even eat breakfast at the same time on a daily basis.  I want more routine in my life. I think I just answered my own question. Instead of focusing on what I eat and exercising all the time -I will have a routine that includes exercise and healthy eating, as well as meditation, combined with setting intentions of what I want out of life including that I will be fit, slim and healthy in 2011.