Today is Steve and my 11th wedding anniversary.....

and the last thing I am thinking about is what to eat and what exercise to do. I am in maintenance, right? I just need make sure that I do not gain back even one of the 21 pounds I have lost over the last 10 months. I am going to take a break from wearing my gofitwear monitor until I get back from Hawaii - I don't think the band will work to well in the water (LOL!) or look to good with a bathing suit on (LOL!). So, until November 11 - my birthday I won't be wearing my band. Ah, let's make it Monday November 15th. I will still be mindful of what I am eating and keep up my exercise. I really can't believe my birthday in is in only 11 days. I will be sort of glad when it is November 12 so I can just get on with being alive. Oh I am still in pursuit of wearing a smaller size and being even more fit. But, I also realize that I can't think about my weight every day of my life. This has been a learning experience for sure.

Welcome baby Anthony John to the world

Today Monica, one of my stepdaughters and Scott had their baby boy Anthony John. What a cutie - he is perfect in every way. I am so happy for them. The innocence of a newborn baby is so astoundingly calming and centering. I can't wait to babysit him and do fun things with him! I think I might even let him call my Grammy Suzy - yea that sounds good. I am going to be fifty after all. LOL! For him - I'll let him call me that!

Self Love - what does that mean?

A few quotes about self love:

“He is his own best friend, and takes delight in privacy whereas the man of no virtue or ability is his own worst enemy and is afraid of solitude” - Aristotle

"Self-love is the greatest of all flatterers." - La Rochefoucauld

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha

"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting." - William Shakespeare

"A low self-love in the parent desires that his child should repeat his character and fortune." - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Here are some of the definitions I found about SELF LOVE - "the instinct or tendency to seek one's own well-being or to further one's own interest" or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage" or "The instinct or desire to promote one's own well-being; regard for or love of one's self" or "excessive pride or vanity, over valuing the self."

WOW! Not really sure what to think now - should I have self esteem, self respect or self love? I need to digest all I have learned to comment fully on the definitions of these three words or concepts.

By the way this all stems from a conversation during my Prosperity Princesses group in which each one of these words was used interchangeable - but looking into the definitions of each word what is clear is that according to the dictionary, anyway, each word does mean something different. I will comment more tomorrow after I have a chance to ponder all of this. Hmmmmmm……

Self Esteem - what is it?

A few quotes to ponder on self esteem.

”A man is the origin of his actions.”- Aristotle

"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values." - Ayn Rand

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” - Richard Bach

Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality.-- Les Brown

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. - Mark Twain

Here are the definitions I found on SELF ESTEEM - "What our unconscious believes to be true about how worthy, lovable, valuable and capable we are." or "a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself" or "self-pride or a feeling of pride in oneself."
In looking at the definition of self respect and self esteem I see a subtle difference. It sounds like if one doesn't have self esteem - or a sense of worthiness and being comfortable with who one is and love for oneself one then they could easily not have self respect. And then do things, eat things, not work out, etc. because they don't feel they are worthy, or worth it. It seems that one can be very good at many things but yet still not have self esteem or self respect. It seems that respect for oneself is the way one treats them self - how they take care of their self, do what they say they will do, etc. It seems to have to do with integrity, as well, which is what I always say I don't have toward myself. This is a big ah ha for me. I get it. I actually really finally get it. I must have a favorable impression of myself not matter what anyone else says. I get it. Ah HA!

What is self respect ?

Respect yourself and others will respect you.  ~Confucius 
Self-respect is the cornerstone of all virtue.  ~John Herschel

I had an interesting day today - trying to figure out exactly what self respect is compared to self esteem, compared to self love. I think they all mean something a little different.

Tonight I will talk about self respect because I am leaning toward that being the most important. According to the dictionary the definition of SELF RESPECT is "due respect for oneself, one's character, and one's conduct" or "a proper respect for oneself as a human being." 

10 more days until Hawaii

I can't wait! I am excited to rest and relax in the land of beautiful beaches and weather. Kona here we come - for this Anniversay/Birthday trip. I guess I better practice relaxing!

So you think you can dance

Tonight I went to the 100 Celebration for Community Hospital of San Bernardino - I used to work there in the late 1990's. Seems so long ago! It was a really cool night - and I got to see a lot of old friends, which was awesome. The honored many who have helped the hospital through out the years including a 100 year old man, and Sammy Davis Jr. - his daughter was there to accept for him. Then the program included dance routines - very cool. I sure to miss my dancing lessons! One of the dancers was Bengi who won on the TV show So You Think You Can Dance - pretty cool! Great evening for a great hopital. Hats off to all my friends who put on the show! I think I may just have to go back to dancing lessons!

Some quotes to ponder

Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.
- David O. McKay

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
- Burton Hills

You must motivate yourself EVERYDAY.
- Matthew Stasior

One must eat to live and not live to eat.
- Moliere

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
- Henry David Thoreau

You attract into your life, exactly what and who you are, based upon what you think
- Oprah

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
- Buddha

The secret is the answer to all that has been, all that is and all that will ever be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

And, my all time favorite.

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.
- Henry Ford

Time to start thinking positive again and get the things I want out of life. In looking at these quotes I realize that I should have been thinking positive thoughts when I was in my funk. But, that is okay because I am now!

Maintenance.....

...that is what I shall focus on until the end of the year. Thank goodness!!! I decided that being on a "diet" per say for ten months is a long time for even the hardiest of souls. And, lord knows I am not even that hardy - but I have been on this journey for a long time. According to my counselor it is best to "diet" for at the most four months. Ooopppsss! I went six months too many! That indeed was probably much of the source of my mood and my state the last few weeks. I think once I completed my three visits to the Biggest Loser Resort this year I just hit a wall, just like one of my supporters said. And, he was right – this marathon is continuing, but for now I am getting a much need drink of water so to speak and rest on my journey by focusing on maintaining my 21 pound weight loss. I still have more to go, but for now I will be focusing on keeping my weight the same, and if I lose in the process great - but that is not the goal. I feel so relieved!!! I will still be posting - no worries. At least there shouldn't be too many down days now that I am in this stage of my journey. I have some more exciting news too – that I will share soon.

Still struggling emotionally speaking....

Yesterday I went to my workout with my trainer, Marc and it was awesome - lots of boxing! Today I went to they gym on my own and did 45 minutes of cardio - skipped boot camp because of the pouring rain. I ate well yesterday and today too, but I am just not feeling that great - not that I am sick. I am just feeling down - maybe because the big 50 is looming. I'm not sure. Or.....I just  don't know what it is, but I am just in a funk. I don't even know if funk is the right word. Again, I am just tired of the same old thing exercise, eat right, do this do that....blah...blah...blah!. And, I am not that excited about anythhing - even my upcoming trip to Hawaii. What is wrong with me? I'm thinking it is just the looming birthday with a certain number. I don't know. I can just get some rest tonight and see what tomorrow brings.

Don't know what to say...again.

I said I would be back, but I am not quite ready.....or at least I thought

All the talk about hitting the wall, stressing myself out and a block, and I have now really hit the wall big time. I am feeling really out of it and very unmotivated. I am trying to get myself out of it. I am trying. I am just laying low for a few days. At this point I am crawling in my journey, but I have not given up. I will not give up. I am just like a snail now....a very, very slow snail! I have to admitt that I missed my boot camp this morning and my Pilates session this afternoon and I even had some wine this weekend. Tomorrow though this snail is going to begin to crawl a little faster on this Marathon race. Yes. She is! Tomorrow is a new day and a day for me to get back on track. Yes. I have to remember all the encouraging and postive things I have learned in my journey and put them into action. This is really, really odd and  wierd, but just writing this I am feeling better all ready. I haven't really posted since last Wednesday - almost five days ago. I am realizing that writing this and expressing myself really helps me in keeping on my path and I need to remember that when I feel out of it and I just want to hide. Just like Nike says sometimes you have to "Just do it!" WOW! That was pretty easy - a little positive self talk and I am slithering along a little faster. I am thinking a good nights rest and tomorrow will be a beautiful day! I hope!

I will be back tomorrow in more ways than one!

Really don't know what to say...

I am READY, WILLING and ABLE!

I have been thinking about this quote from the IntenSATI class I took at the Biggest Loser Resort. I think this is something I need to remember. I still need to find my fun, crazy, memorable, exciting, meaningful activity, but for now I need to remember that I am READY, I am WILLING and I sure as heck am ABLE! And, along with that I am thinking the right thoughts to create new happy cells and the great experiences I want in life.

And, here are some inspiring words from Louise Hay's blog  on the importance of choosing healthy foods and healthy thoughts. So, let's eat healthy nutritious  foods and think positive thoughts!
You have a Choice
The best way for us to keep fit and healthy is for us to watch what we eat and think. Our choices of thoughts and food are the major parts of either poor health or good health. Life has given us unlimited choices and it’s up to us to educate ourselves on what really works for us. We’re all unique individuals and have our own special needs. So be aware of how your choice of thoughts makes you feel. When you choose angry or bitter thoughts, do you “feel” good? Wouldn’t you feel better if you chose a thought like, “All is well in my world”?

It’s the same with foods. Do you choose foods with the pretty picture on the package and then feel tired and irritable a little while after you’ve eaten it? Or do you choose natural foods that build up your energy and create healthy new cells? For the next week, be aware of your choices of thoughts and foods. You can create good health one food at a time, and one thought at a time!

I am getting tired of this.....time to think about shaking it up!

I hate to say it, but I am getting tired of trying to release this weight, writing this blog, exercising, watching what I eat, etc. I'm not really in a so called funk now, but I just have lost my zeal for the whole process. I guess in reality that isn't too bad, since I have been doing this for 285 days. Don't worry - I'm not giving up. I'm not even taking a break. I guess I am just venting. I am human after all! I had a good workout this morning and a great meditation class last night. And, I ate very healthy today. I guess this whole thing is just getting boring to me. I think it may be more than just about the weight loss journey - I think it is about much more. I was just saying to Steve the other day that I feel a little lost and then last night in the meditation class when I encountered John Lennon (very long story!) and perhaps uncovered that I am just going through the motions in life right now. I really think I need something more to focus on - selling real estate just doesn't seem to be enough now. Maybe I am feeling this way because there are only 30 more days until my 50th birthday and I won't be at my goal. I don't really think that is the biggest issue - I think it is just how much significance society puts on certain numbers - 50 years old being one of them. I am not over the hill and I don't want to be over the hill so to speak. Yes. Maybe it is time to do something outrageous and fun, or different or meaningful, or thought provoking or crazy - in a good way - maybe just maybe it is time to shake it up. Not sure how, but pretty sure that might be the ticket. Something!? Any ideas?

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose." ~ Dr. Seuss

Missed boot camp....and a couple of great quotes

...I missed boot camp this morning. I think I had too much fun at game night last night. I will be taking Cleo on a long walk tomorrow then boot camp four mornings next week, pilates and a workout next week is the plan. I haven't been doing my gratitude journal lately - so tomorrow I will start that again and plan my meals for the week.

And a couple of great quotes:

You inevitably attract into your life people and circumstances in harmony with your dominant thoughts.
Brian Tracy

Don't focus on the days when you failed. Focus on all of the days when you won. Keep a chart, monitor your successes, and don't give up!
Robert Butterworthn

To achieve something you've never achieved before, you must become someone you've never been before."
Brian Tracy

Do or do not. There is no try.
Yoda

Boot Camp today....Boot Camp tomorrow!

I went to boot camp this morning at 6:30 and it was freezing by California standards. 50 degrees. And, tomorrow I am going again, but to a different one. We will see which one I like more and which one seems to be more challenging. I will be the challenge of the boot camps. LOL!

Intuitive Eating Principles

10 Tips to Intuitive Eating from the book Intuitive Eating that I learned about at the Biggest Loser Resort.

1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

2. Honor Your Hunger Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.

3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.

4. Challenge the Food Police .Scream a loud "NO" to thoughts in your head that declare you're "good" for eating under 1000 calories or "bad" because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.

 5. Respect Your Fullness Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you're comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?

6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence--the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you've had "enough".

7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won't fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won't solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You'll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.

 8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It's hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.

9. Exercise--Feel the Difference Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it's usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.

10 Honor Your Health--Gentle Nutrition Make food choices that honor your health and tastebuds while making you feel well. Remember that you don't have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It's what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts. 

Slush....slush

Yes. That is the sound my shoes made this morning at boot camp in the rain at 56 degrees outside. Now that is dedication, right? BRRRRRrrrrrrr.... is about all I can say. Then it was off to a training for gro-Organic. Pretty cool stuff - franchise training for the new franchisees. My roasted chicken turned out good - or I thought it did anyway. Steve said it was dry, whatever! I thought it was good. Tomorrow more boot camp - hopefully no rain and more gro-Organic training. Long day ahead tomorrow. I'm going to try to get to bed early!

Kettle Balls Plus

Workout bright and early this morning with Kettle Balls, plus a ton of sit ups and push ups, and that wasn't even boot camp. That is tomorrow morning - unless it is pouring rain - then I might just skip it. Weather forecast says 40 percent chance of rain - let's hope it is wrong! I am missing my friends at the Biggest Loser Resort. I am keeping in touch via facebook and it sounds like they are plugging away to lose more pounds quickly. I guess I am glad to be home. Yes. I am. I just have to keep my eating in line. Tomorrow I will be at a training all day so I am going to make a crockpot chicken. Here is the recipe. It sounds really good. We shall see.

1 roasting chicken
1/2 c. chicken broth
1/3 c. soy sauce
1/3 c. olive oil
1/4 c. honey
1 t. Worchester sauce
2 t. balsamic vinegar
2 t. lemon juice
1 t. sesame oil
2 T. chopped garlic
combine all ingredients, put chicken in crockpot without skin (pat dry first). Pour mixture over chicken and cook on low setting for 8 hours.

The recipe says to serve it with jasmine rice. I think I will do that and add some green beans.

Tired.....

I was tired today after my week at the Biggest Loser Resort. Tomorrow I will be hitting it again with my workout at 7 a.m.

The results are in and a trip to Whole Foods

The verdict is in....and.....I lost.....another 7 pounds - that seems to be what I lose a week there at the Biggest Loser Resort. I am happy with that loss - but of course I would have loved to lose more. ;)  I had to have a Starbucks non-fat pumpkin spice latte - nummy - as soon as I left the resort - LOL! It tasted great! I guess I missed coffee a bit. Ya think! I don't really drink that much coffee anyway - just about one cup a day and an occasional Starbucks about twice a month. Some people at the resort were giving up seven diet sodas a day cold turkey, and cigarettes. Boy, I am sure glad I didn't have to go cold turkey on that!

On the way home I stopped at Whole Food to grocery shop - I don't usually go there since it is about thirty minutes away. I stocked up on salmon, sole, ground turkey and chicken, a whole roasting chicken and chicken breasts, tons of vegetables and fruit, whole wheat pasta, rice, couscous, and even some organic ice cream sandwiches for a treat. So, my refrigerator shelves a stocked with some great food - now I need to search recipes to make some tasty meals. Anyone have any good recipes they want to share?

intenSati

Today we did a workout called intenSati that targets the mind and the body incoporating marshall arts, yoga and postive affirmations - right up my alley- with one of the main principles being Integrity. As you know I am still working on that integrity to self piece that I am sometimes missing in my life - this class seemed to target just that!! Totally cool! I loved the class. Here is a description of the class from the website  http://www.satilife.com/ - "IntenSati is a revolutionary high-energy cardio workout created by Patricia Moreno, author of The intenSati Method, 7 Principles to Thinner Peace. This method of training is based on the teachings of mindfulness, positive psychology and the law of attraction. The practice radically combined aerobics, martial arts and endurance principles with positive affirmations. The result is an unprecedented practice which is empowering physically and mentally." Then a kicboxing class and another circuit class. Then some lunch and a massage. Dinner and a farewell video - pretty cool! I am doing some funny things in the video -  I hate to admit it! LOL! Anyway, I am excited to weigh in tomorrow at 8 a.m. We shall see. I have worked my butt off this week, so the number should be one that I am expecting.  I hope!

Malibu beach hike and Cardio Disco Jam....

This morning we went on an awsome hike to Zuma Beach in Malibu - walked on the sand for about a mile and then up the cliffs and over to the other side. Pretty cool!  We even saw a pod (I think it is called a pod) dolphins swimming along the shore - so neat to see! I am thinking that I would love to go hiking at the beach more often. It was so much fun! Don't get me wrong it was hard too, as you can see by how high up on the cliff we hiked. Then it was off to a wonderful stretch class. It felt so good to stretch after walking in the sand and climbing the cliff paths.

After that it was circuit training again, the Cardio Disco Jam - which was hilarious, as well as super fun. The instructor - who was a guy - dressed up in a sequin top, shorts with a peace sign belt and some silver high top tennis shoes. And, the moves were insane! LOL! It was a bit of the seventies all over again. I'm not quite sure what I looked like. LOL! But, it sure was fun. The last class of the day was Liquid Moves - in the pool - swimming and running and who would think it was hard to hold some floaty weights over your head and run around the pool. Oh yes it is - my arms can tell you so!

 Alas, tomorrow is my last day.  I am a little sad to go, but also can't wait to get home to see the hubby and my little Cleopatra princess puppy.

The contestants from season 12 of Biggest Loser are definitely here. We saw them numerous times around th resort - looking like they had just worked out very, very hard. It looks like they are eating the same meals as we are - not sure what that means or how that will play out during the season. Hmmmmm.....

Off to do my laundry so I won't have to do it when I get home on Sunday. More of my adventures tomorrow.