Finding my authentic self

I am so sorry I have not posted for the last few days. I have been having computer issues. Still am - but I managed to get this posted today.

Authentic Self, what does that mean exactly? According to the dictionary, authentic is, "Worthy of trust, reliance, or belief: Having an undisputed origin; genuine."
Self is defined as, "The qualities of one person distinguishing him from another; personality or character; individuality. One's own interests."

The following is some information I found on the Internet regarding finding your authentic self. Very interesting! A part of my journey is indeed, finding my authentic self. So, I am then a work in progress. But, a beautiful picture is beginning to appear. I think I’m on the right track because I am being BOLD – starting this Blog is bold, going to the Biggest Loser Resort alone is bold. Yes. I am.

If you're unsure whether you're living an authentic life or not, consider some of the following questions.
Do you feel successful on the outside but like a fraud on the inside? Is your public face a mask that reveals strength but the inside is scared? Do you have a sense of lingering loneliness in spite of the amount of people involved in your life? Are there people in your life that drain you? Does your career bring you a sense of peace and fulfillment? Do you make decisions based upon what others think or want just to be accepted?

Our Authentic Self is that place, deep within, that has the answers to all these questions. Where our truths, beliefs, values and dreams live; our "genuine," our "individuality." It is there that we know how we really feel, even though we may be uncomfortable admitting it to the world or even to ourselves at times. Finding your Authentic Self and bringing it forth can be scary, and yet, it can be one of the most freeing experiences of your life.
When you come from a place of authenticity you make choices in life that feels right to you. That resonates with your soul, without the concern of what others will think. When this is accomplished you take on a life of free will. And there is no greater gift than that of free will.

The nineteenth-century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, "The most common despair is...not choosing, or willing, to be oneself, but the deepest form of despair is to choose to be another than oneself."
If you're someone who's been living everyone else's life other than your own, it's never too late to awaken your Authentic Self and listen closely as the truth is whispered to you. This takes some courage. It means being willing to say no when you might normally say yes and the yes isn't authentic. You may realize your truth is wanting a more simple life, one that doesn't have to keep up with the Jones'. Whatever it is for you, be willing to create some personal time so you can get reacquainted with your Self and start to live your life. Allow yourself to be selfish.

If the word selfish makes you want to run away as fast as you can let me share a distinction with you between Selfishness and Self-interest, which should help you embrace the idea that being selfish is really okay.
Selfishness is when you take care of your Self, your needs, wants and life as a priority so you have plenty of emotional and physical reserve to be there for others without any resentment or anger. It's about having your gas tank on full and when it starts to get low you fill it up again by taking care of your Self.
Self-interest is when you focus your attention and activities upon yourself to the exclusion of other people. There is no consideration for others.
So you see, when you take the time to be selfish, you're creating the opportunity to live more authentically, bringing you more happiness, which ultimately benefits your family and friends.


Give your Self a gift today. Let go of your have to and should just for a little while. Slow down, listen to what you're heart is telling you. What do you hear? Look inside. Who do you see? When you start to see a glimmer of your Authentic Self, allow it to flow to the surface and take the steps needed to begin your authentic journey. Remember, it's the infinitesimal steps that can create the biggest transformation.

Authenticity is about enjoying a new sense of freedom to be who we really are—ourselves, natural and without a mask in our relationships, our work and our life. It takes courage, commitment and depth to:
• Look within ourselves
• Tell the whole truth (even when we don't want to)
• Be vulnerable
• Admit, own and share our true thoughts, feelings, desires, insecurities, passions, embarrassment, dreams and more

Know Yourself
The first essential aspect of our journey to live a more authentic, meaningful and fulfilling life, is to know who we truly are at the deepest level. Knowing ourselves, like being authentic itself, is a lifelong process. The more deliberate we are about this, however, the more we can grow and evolve consciously.

For me, knowing myself has been, and at times continues to be, a little tricky. For many years, I thought "knowing myself" meant knowing about myself (my "story," my issues, my drama, where I'd been, what I'd been through, etc.). While knowing about ourselves is important, it's only a small piece of who we really are.

Being fully aware of ourselves is about looking more deeply within. This can be challenging, confusing and scary for some of us, myself included. We often aren't sure where to look, what to do or how to deal with the aspects of ourselves we don't understand or even like. There are times I find myself wanting to avoid or deny certain aspects of myself, rather than confront them and deal with them directly based on my own fear or self-judgment. However, as we're willing to really go within ourselves, know who we are and make peace with ourselves, we can create what we truly want in life. As Eckhart Tolle says in his best-selling book A New Earth, "Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free."

Transform Your Fear
Fear is something that we all experience throughout our lives, especially on our journey toward deeper authenticity. Being who we really are, expressing ourselves honestly, being bold and going for what we want in life can cause a great deal of fear in us.

I get scared all the time. When I was younger, I thought there was something really wrong with me because I would get so nervous—in sports, in school, in social settings and more. I now understand that everyone else experiences their own version of the same basic fears I have (being judged, making mistakes, looking bad, failing, disappointing others). It's just part of being human.

Many of us run away or hide from our fears because they seem scary, uncomfortable or embarrassing. We also erroneously think we "shouldn't" have them or that we are somehow "wrong" for feeling scared. However, most things that mean a lot to us in life don't show up without any fear at all. As we strive to live with authenticity, it's inevitable that we'll experience quite a bit of fear along the way.

The question isn't whether we experience fear in our lives (because we all do and always will for as long as we live); the more important question for each of us to ask and to answer is: How can I move through my fears in an honest way so they don't stop me from being who I really am and going for what I truly want in life? We're able to transform our fears by admitting, owning and expressing them, thus allowing us to move through them in an honest and authentic way.

Express Yourself
While most of us aren't bald-faced liars who go around deceiving people consciously, if we're honest with ourselves about it, we often don't fully speak our truth or express all of our emotions. We've been trained and have in turn trained ourselves to be "appropriate" and to say and do the "right" thing so we can get what we want and look as good as possible in most situations.

Be Bold
Some people may consider themselves "bold," but most people I know and work with—myself included—admit that they don't often think of themselves as a "bold" person. Or, if we've done or said bold things in our lives, they seem to be few and far between...and they also seem to scare us half to death. Hence, we often don't find ourselves being bold in life—or not nearly as much as we'd like.

Being bold, while scary and challenging for many of us, is essential if we're going to live an authentic life. Boldness is about stepping up and stepping out onto our "edge" in life—pushing the limits of what we think is possible or appropriate. It's about living, speaking and acting in ways that are both courageous and true to who we really are.

Because we're all unique, our individual versions of boldness will look quite different. Something that might be "bold" for me may not be so for you—or vice versa. Being bold has to do with us getting in touch with our deepest truths, passions and desires in life and then having the courage to live and act "out loud" in a way that is congruent with this.

Celebrate Who You Are
The ultimate goal of being ourselves in an authentic way is actually about celebrating and loving ourselves in a generous way. If we truly love ourselves, most of what we worry about and even much of what we strive for in life becomes meaningless. We may still have some worries, and we'll definitely continue to have goals, dreams and desires. However, from a place of true self-appreciation and self-love, the fear behind our worries and the motivation for our goals dramatically changes from something we have to avoid or produce in order to be accepted and valued to something we're genuinely concerned about or really want to accomplish.

On the flip side, if we don't love ourselves, nothing much really matters. No matter what we conquer, create or experience, we're never able to appreciate it or ourselves or to be fulfilled in the process, because we're constantly striving to be validated in an insatiable way.

Self-love is what we're all searching for. Sadly, we spend most of our lives thinking that someone or something else can give us what only we can give ourselves. To be truly fulfilled in life, we have to find that love within us and give it to ourselves. No other person, amount of money, material possession or accomplishment can do it. It's up to us. We have an opportunity to celebrate who we are for any reason and at any time.

Being your authentic self is not for the faint of heart, but once you're willing to truly engage and do the work to become more real—your life, your work and your relationships will be more exciting, meaningful and fulfilling!

Mike Robbins is a best-selling author, sought-after motivational keynote speaker and personal growth expert who works with people and groups of all kinds. Robbins is the author of the best-selling books Focus on the Good Stuff and Be Yourself: Everyone Else Is Already Taken. He and his work have been featured on ABC News, in Forbes, Ladies Home Journal, Self and many others.